It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
