Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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