I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
