Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i dont even know how to be here
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
