Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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