I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
