I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
