I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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