White coat. Heels.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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