so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
