White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
