Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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