she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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