Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
