just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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