I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize