There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You need a sexual gate keeper
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
