At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
