your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
