We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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