Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
