He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
