Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
