yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
