lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
