u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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