I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
