I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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