I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
