Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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