apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
