I wish I could teleport
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
