This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
