One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
