i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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