It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
