one two three fourrrrnication!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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