OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
