Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
