also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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