what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And then he peed in my hair
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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