don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
