Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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