She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I party with great urgency now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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