What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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