my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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