The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
