READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
