You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
