maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
